At the start of 2015, I arrived in Hollywood. The goal was to find Selena Gomez and teach her an ancient writing method used by the creators of the Bible.
Why was this my goal? I had no idea...
Because I was convinced that the Biblical method was real, I was determined to find Selena. However, I was also fully aware of how ridiculous this endeavor seemed. Therefore, I decided to approach the quest as though it were a game. I set rules for myself that would require me to quit under certain conditions. These boundaries would serve to differentiate a quest for the holy grail from a quest of Don Quixote.
I decided that if I had reached a state of desperation wherein I am trying to force something to work that, obviously, is not suppose to work, I should quit. Also, if the quest is no longer enjoyable, the game is over.
How to be Homeless
When I arrived in Hollywood, I was broke. I began begging for money and trying to figure out what to do. That day, a man named T-bone offered to show me how to survive the world of homelessness.
After spending the evening with T-bone, I was terrified. He drove me to Compton. I saw a man get shot and die. I was almost raped. At one point, T-Bone drove me to the site where John Belushi was killed. He told me me that God is dead and the new rulers of the world were the giants that I saw on the billboards of Sunset Boulevard. After realizing T-Bone was not fit to teach me anything, I ran away and got lost.
While wandering somewhere in LA, I was like: What the HELL am I doing? Bible codes? Selena Gomez? WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?”
Exausted, I reached the beach. I was hungry. In the distance, I saw a ferris wheel. It glowed as the sun began to rise. The waves crashed against my feet and I started to cry. I knew that if something didn’t happen that morning, the game was over.
I followed the ferris wheel onto a pier where an employee was operating the wheel. I asked if the park was hiring. He told me to go to the entrance. When I got there, I saw a gathering of people and large poster that said Job Fair. At that moment, a man yelled, "Does anyone know anything about language?” He was frustrated that half of his applicants did not know English.
I raised my hand and said, “I have a graduate degree in mass communications.”
“You’re Hired!” he said.
That was my introduction to Santa Monica.
Third Street Promenade
That morning, I explored Santa Monica and found the Third Street Promenade. On the promenade, entertainers were singing, dancing, juggling, and sharing other talents on the street. Everyone was laughing. People were giving money to each other. When I asked a singer what this place was, she said, "This is heaven."
That month, I worked at the ferris wheel until I raised enough money to buy an amplifier. Then I quit the theme park to become a full time street performer.
I have a lot of talents, but nothing I can be done in front of a live audience. When I went to the permit office to get a license to street perform, I told them I wanted to do a variety show and listed several activities that I had planned. One of the activities involved a sock puppet.
When I got my license, it said I was a puppet master. I told the office they made a mistake. They insisted it was correct. That day, I found several stuffed animals that had been abandoned on the beach and made them into puppets.
Mikey and the Orphans
After a few weeks of trial and error, I had created a show worthy of the promenade. The show featured a variety of professional and hand made puppets that lip-synched to popular songs. The songs played on a 20 minute loop.
I was proud of the live show, but it was only a means for survival. I worked the show for 4 hours a week, which was enough to buy food. The rest of my time and energy was spent moviemaking.
A YouTube Show
I reasoned that I stood a chance at contacting Selena if I made a YouTube show designed for that purpose. However, at the time, I had too many questions of my own about the Biblical writing method to feel comfortable meeting with her. Therefore, the first season of my YouTube show, The Homeless Prince, was about my life as a homeless person living in Santa Monica. But the show was filled with hidden references to Selena. I used photos of her where her face was blurred. In some scenes, I changed her name.
By using the puppets, I was able to do the show without assistance from anyone else.
At the start of 2015, the only thing I knew about Selena was that she was involved in nonprofit work. Because I was trying to meet with her, I began researching who she was:
Selena Gomez is half Caucasian, half Mexican. As a child, Selena asked her mother if she could become an actor. Unlike my Bishop, who discouraged me from working with Hollywood, Selena’s mother said yes. Her first job was on a television show where she worked for a purple dinosaur. Realizing that she loved filmmaking, Selena continued the career and was hired by Disney to star in the television show, Wizards of Waverly Place. She joined a band. She learned to dance. She was in several movies. She was a spokesperson.
Selena has been diagnosed with Lupus and, in 2017, had a kidney transplant.
Selena is a Christian and was raised in the Catholic faith … however … her involvement in certain projects, such as the film Spring Breakers, has created controversy because of the way these projects discuss the issue of sex.
In 2016, Selena’s fame helped her become the most followed person on instagram. In 2018, she was the first person to reach one million followers. However, because of the controversial ways that the media has conveyed her image without her permission, privacy has become a theme in Selena’s life.
As I learned about Selena, I was surprised at how many themes, coincidentally, correlated with issues that had been dealing with throughout my own life. We have much in common.
Macrocosm vs. Microcosm
However, the scales between Selena and I are very different: I was famous to thousands of people before the world was connected through the internet. Selena is famous to millions of people after the internet connected the world. To some, this may seem like a huge contrast, but to me, not so much. From my perspective, most of the differences that exist between Selena and I are only different by size. I have a little money, she has a lot of money. I show my movies to hundreds of people on YouTube; Selena shows her movies to millions of people in the theater. But when it all boils down to it, the processes are similar.
While researching Selena, I found that, I think, she shares my perspective on this issue (below).
How to NOT be a Psycho Stalker
Fully aware of how, freaking, crazy this is, I made game rules to govern my pursuit of Selena. I decided never to go to her house, to her concerts, or tomeet-and-greets. What good would come from making contact in those ways?
Secondly, to avoid becoming a stalker, I can not harass or annoy Selena. The goal is to make contact and have a discussion, not to steal her panties (I don’t want her panties. I’m gay). After making contact, if she did not believe the method was real, the game is over. To persist in trying to communicate with her is pointless and creepy.
Thirdly, I was selective of the way in which I researched Selena. For example, I watched every interview I could find, but none of her TV show Wizards of Waverly Place. These boundaries helped ensure that I was gathering information about Selena Gomez instead of Alex Russo.
Lastly, I realized that it might take several tries before I, finally, contact Selena. I approached the quest as though I was fishing. This would take patience.
Same Sex Marriage
In 2015, I began watching movies, reading the news, and connecting with friends for the first time in seven years. A lot had changed since 2007. I felt as though I had been awakened from a coma.
One of the biggest changes that occurred during this time was public opinion regarding same-sex relationships.
June 26, 2015
I was not surprised by the Supreme Court’s decision to legalize same-sex marriage. However, I was surprised by the way Americans encouraged the LGBT community. In 2008, public support for same-sex marriage struggled. The proposition 8 controversy showed that, in the most accepting of states, Americans rejected same-sex relationships. But in 2015, over half of the nation supported same-sex marriage, and that number was increasing.
I wondered what caused the shift in opinion. And how come my own opinion had not changed?...
I Support Same-Sex Relationships
I have supported same-sex relationships since high school - since before it was socially acceptable. My perspective has always been in opposition to my friends, family, and church associates. One may reason that my difference of opinion was because I was gay. But that is not true…
The law against homosexuality comes from two places. The first is the from Bible. In Leviticus 18:22, God says, 'A man shall not lie with a man.' The second is from United States legal system.
In America, when a law does not suit the needs of a community, they have the right to work through the legal process of accommodation. In the case of the LGBT community, gay individuals have always had the freedom to use the system to reverse anti-gay laws.
Furthermore, as a Christian who has same-sex attraction, I am free to leave the Christian religion and join my fellow LGBT peers. That said, as an American, I have always supported same-sex relationships because I believe in the separation of Church and State.
A Double Agent
However, God's law does not operate in the same way as the U.S. legal system. Christians cannot vote to reverse a regulation. A judge or a religious leader cannot reverse a Biblical law. If these things were permitted, than why does man need God?
To change a law that is written in the Bible, either God, himself, must come down from heaven, or God must speak to a prophet who is authorized, as a representative, to make the change.
That said, as a Christian who believes that Bible forbids homosexuality,
I do not support same-sex relationships.
Thus, in my opinion, the debate over same-sex marriage should have divided the nation into two groups, with Christians opposing the change and non-christians supporting the change. Instead, by my observation, the debate seemed to be dividing Christianity (Matt. 12:25).
Divorce of the Christian Church
The reason for the division is because some believe that Jesus Christ (as God or as God’s representative) changed the law 2,000 years ago. Accordingly, this would explain the shift of public opinion, and the divide of the Jewish Church, at that time. However, Jesus Christ does not account for a shift of opinion in modern times. The divide of Christianity in 2015, suggests that there is a hidden variable that is causing change.
So, what is the difference between Christians who continue to reject same-sex relationships and Christians who evolve to support them?
Hollywood: A One Sided Argument
As I researched the arguments that were made for and against same-sex marriage from 2008 to 2014, it seemed that the debate was one sided. YouTube videos, television news reports, and Hollywood movies argued in favor of love, diversity, equality, and modernization, all of which support the LGBT cause. But the media lacked any serious discussions on the disadvantages of same-sex marriage:
What are the risks of changing the legal definition of the word marriage? Does the LGBT community have a responsibility, within society, to procreate? What is the difference between sex and marriage? What are the disadvantages of diversity? What are the advantages of conformity? Does the legalization of same-sex marriage, really, make America more more equal? What is the difference between equal and the same? What is it that separates Church and State? Do men and women need each other? Should not all of these things have been discussed before the Supreme Court ruling?
Furthermore, where were the serious religious arguments that disagreed with same-sex marriage? I saw a lot of Christians protesting that homosexuality is wrong, but none explaining why. I saw preachers give absurd hate speeches that, in no way, represent my experience as a Christian. The only reasonable religious views that I saw were those that supported same-sex marriage. I felt like I was missing pieces of the puzzle.
I felt like the media was censoring Christianity. I felt like Christians were being misrepresented.
Christianity: A One Sided Argument
On the other hand, Christianity seems guilty of the same thing. In Mormonism, the debate over homosexuality has always been one sided. Mormons emphasized conformity and reproduction but speak nothing about genetics and the importance of individuality. Never have I heard a story in church that explained the same-sex marriage debate from the a gay perspective. One time, I listened to a Christian advertise gay conversion therapy, but as he spoke, it was apparent that this man did not represent the true gay experience. From my perspective, the only way to get the LGBT side of the story was to leave the Church.
It seemed to me that just as the media was censoring Christianity, Christianity was censoring the LGBT community, and Christians were misrepresenting gay people.
Song of the Sirens
Upon examining the arguments made for and against same-sex marriage I realized, the reason my opinion of the gay issue had not evolved over the course of seven years was because, during that time, I listened to Christian stories and could not hear Hollywood stories. To me, this is like the time the sirens boarded Odysseus’s boat and separated those who closed their ears from those who listened:
The difference between Christians who embrace same sex relationships and Christians who do not correlate with the type of media the individual intakes.
Thus, the modern shift in public opinion was not caused by Jesus Christ, 2,000 years ago, but by the storytellers of today:
He who controls the flow of information controls the behavior of society.
Separation of Church and Hollywood
If the media has the power to influence the behavior of society, it means, in order to prevent a monopoly, separating storytellers is as important as separating businesses. But, as of 2015, Christian stories were shifting to support same-sex marriage. This suggests that a division between storytellers no longer exists.
America is preparing to play the game of monopoly. And there are no laws in place to stop anyone from winning.
Why is Marriage Important?
While researching the gay marriage debate, I was constantly reminded of the Mormon rule that a person must be married to get into heaven. Now that I was separated from Rashel, was I suppose to get remarried? The first time was awful. As a gay individual, was I suppose to expect something better from a second try at a heterosexual relationship?
And how would a second wedding work? Was I suppose to tell my bride that I would stay with her forever, cause I already made that promise and it didn't work. How can anyone trust me ever again? It seems to me that I can't get remarried because my promises have become worthless. Does that mean I cannot get into heaven? If I can't get into heaven, what's the point of being Mormon?
One of the advantages of Mormonism is that the Church is suppose to have the power to keep my family together after we die. But how can that be true if they can't even keep us together while we're alive?
All this fuss between gay people and Christians over the right of marriage, as though it was a trophy, yet, by my observations, no one seemed to be discussing why marriage is important. Was I the only person on earth who did not want to be married?
The Bible Code
By 2016, I had learned enough about the Biblical writing method to present my findings to Selena. I named the method, the matrix. At that time, I understood the following:
A writing method is a systematic way of creating a story. As appose to the free style form, a writing method compels the creator to follow certain rules to produce a story that has identifiable characteristics. For example, a limerick has five lines, a haiku has seventeen syllables, a chasm follows an inverted structure.
These rules allow the reader to differentiate a methodic story from other stories, similar to the way a cook uses a recipe to make a cake instead of a pizza. The advantage to using a method to write scripture is that the method can be used to differentiate writers and stories.
For example, when analyzing the Koran I discovered that the writer, Muhammad, did not use the matrix writing method. This does not mean that the Islamic religion is false or that the Koran was not inspired by God. It only means that the rules used to write the Old Testament were not used to write the Koran. But this begs the question: Why?
Why would God ask some writers to use certain literary rules and allow other writers the freedom to write any way they desire? Do the rules used to write a story influence the meaning of the story? What differentiates the word of God from the word of man? Can any story be considered scripture or does the word of God follow rules?
Later, I analyzed the Book of Mormon and discovered that the matrix method was not used by those writers, either. At that time, somewhat disappointed in my findings, I officially left the Mormon church and I began trying to separate religious fact from religious fiction.
Then, for the first time in my life, I embraced the fact that I am gay...
The Homeless Prince
In the summer of 2016, I uploaded the 33 episode series of The Homeless Prince onto YouTube. My viewers consisted of my family, friends, and other people from my church.
I'm Coming Out
On April 27th, 2016, I released the last episode where I came out to my viewers. It did not go well...
Rashel told people that I was abusive and crazy. Admitting to Christians that I was gay seemed to remove all doubt regarding the morality of my character. Also, I had been denying my sexuality for three decades. When I came out, others felt as though I had betrayed them. They felt as though I had lied. They felt that I had abandoned their community.
I expected the show to be be a success because my mind was still in 2007, a time when I was the king of moviemaking. But in 2016, everyone had a YouTube channel. Their equipment was better than mine. Their stories were up to date. I had a lot to learn.
When the series ended, I had only gained 99 viewers, most of which were friends and family. My attempt to tell an entertaining story about a vagabond treasure hunter was, unintentionally, perceived as a cry for help. I could not gain viewers because no one wanted to watch a show about a struggling homeless man who was probably mentally ill.
What Do I Do Now?
At that time, I was ready to meet with Selena, but because my show failed, I did not know how to make contact. Worse than that, I still did not know why Selena was important to this story. Also, I did not know what she was suppose to do with the method after I gave it to her. Thus, as 2017 approached, I was unsure of how to proceed.
But all of that changed when I received an e-mail from Selena...
As a teenager, I made a deal with God that, when I died, I would return to Him with a good story to tell.
By 2017, strange things were happening to me. It was as though I was losing control of my own story. It was as though God was becoming the new writer of my life, and the setting of the next chapter was San Francisco.
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